Rockumentary

The Beatles were once quoted saying that no other band influenced their careers more than The Zack Attack. True story. In this classic episode we find the gang, (minus Jessie who I guess wasn't any one's friend forever), practicing as their band The Zack Attack. We follow them through their tumultuous career, their huge success, and inevitable demise. Casey Kasem narrates a sort of Behind the Music before Behind the Music breakdown of the group's career. I don't know why Casey Kasem was in two episodes of Saved by the Bell during his career nor do I care, I picture his voice would greet me in hell, but I digress.

One fateful day, a record exec named Brian Fate (Oh Saved by the Bell you slay me!)is jogging, in an awesome jogging suit, and hears the band and decides he must have them. They play small, dimly lit coffee shops, get their record played on the radio, and boom their playing Madison Square Garden, naturally rifts develop.

Mindy, a publicist, is hired to be the ice cold face of the band, and seduces 16 year old Zack. She eventually turns Zack against his friends, writes wretched songs, forces the band to play them, and then laughs when they want to write a song. She's a white Yoko Ono, because if Mindy was Asian, that would be too obvious.

The band eventually calls is quits and Zack goes solo turning into a weird morph Madonna/Elton John/Cher/ Super Gay combination. Lisa is an American Gladiator, Kelly's a nun who will die a virgin, Screech a nerdy Buddha, and Slater a shitty race car driver who crashes and forces them all back together because, as we all know, bands may come and go, but friends are forever.

The last shot of the episode is a cut to Zack asleep and we find out it was all a dream...or was it.

WHAT THE F*** MOMENT: The whole episode really, but the fact that Zack can have such a vivid dream while taking a nap on top of a crate is crazy.

DID YOU NOTICE?: The room where the Grammy after party is taking place was Johnny Dakota's hotel room in the episode There's No Hope With Dope.

TOP FIVE ZACK ATTACK SONGS:
1. How Am I Suppose To Live Without You (Ah, nothing like that Michael Bolton. The man truly has a beautiful voice.)
2. Friends Forever
3. Did We Ever Have A Chance
4. Kelly, Slater, and Screech's Song About School
5. Make My Day (They play this song in the episode The Last Dance, its so bad its good, and Zack tells Kelly he wrote it for her, which is odd.)

PS: How did the get Don Henley to dub over Zack's awesome lip syncing skills?