Saturday, June 18, 2011

Miss Bayside


Swimsuit! Swimsuit! Swimsuit! Miss Bayside is the most coveted title in Southern California and everyone, I mean everyone, wants the crown. Friends turn against friends, lovers turn against lovers, and robots...pull colored cloth out of their mouths. This episode is so unrealistic it almost unbearable. How can a public school afford these kinds of extra curricular antics, how can best friends turn against each other so quickly, and finally how is Mr. Belding allowing this to happen, get a hold of your school Dick!

As the competition progresses, we learn that every one in the gang has a hidden talent and that Screech is pretty lovable when he steps out if Zack's butthole and into the wonderful world of magic. Jessie dances, Kelly sings (horribly), and Lisa plays the violin (secret talent alert!). And then before you can say equality, Slater decides to enter the competition. Against his looks, dimples, and personality Screech will never win the women's beauty pageant.

Screech and Zack try to figure out a way to knock Slater out of the contest, Screech's robot Kevin become so enthralled with it all that he punches Screech in the face, BINGO. Zack blames it all on Slater and Screech becomes the domestic violence victim we all knew he could be!

At the pageant Slater wears a swimsuit with socks, Jessie looks like the statue of liberty, and Screech (aka The Great Screechini) gets a huge standing ovation. He eventually wins the crown and is serenaded by the most beautifully song Mr. B has ever sung. Screech eventually lost in the semi-finals of the Ms. Universe pageant, but he's still number one in our hearts!

Best Quote
Jessie: "A beauty pageant, what a stupid, sexiest waste of time!"

Slater: "Not if you're in a tini-bikini Mama!" ( C'Mon Slater sexism is so 1994)

What the Fuck Moment!
Zack claims to have every beauty pageant on tape from Miss Universe to Miss Omaha. Really, Zack are you sure you don't want to Miss Bayside?

I can't believe Screech's father would every allow this...wait where is Screech's father? Maybe its that statue of Elvis his mom is so gaga about.

Top 5 best talents in a beauty pageant
5. Feminist Speech
4. Robot Magic
3. Fake Violin Mime
2. Flaming Batons
1. Horrible "Bird-Like" Singing